The Arrow

There are no answers; only choices.

Archive for the ‘heart’ Category

Coming Back

Posted by thearrow on June 4, 2012

It’s been really hard to get back to blogging after my friend died. How can you go on after someone so young vanished so unexpectedly? Her Facebook page is still open in my browsers on both computers and people still post photos of roses or other things they knew she liked, and still talk to her, tell her how much they miss her… It’s heartbreaking.

It’s weird having Facebook around, which for most of our lives we didn’t. I know I’m thinking of Cristina a lot more than I would have had Facebook not been around; I feel like I can maintain some sort of connection with her. But it’s also harder to let go. I can’t bring myself to close her page, even if I don’t check it very often. Once in a while I see posts on her page by her other FB friends and I wonder how long this will go on. At some point the living do move on, but it takes much longer in the virtual life.

And I know I’m not the only one pondering virtual life after real death on Facebook. Here’s an interesting article on The Atlantic about how people deal with it:

There you have it: if you want to live forever in your friends’ memory, be active on Facebook, like Cristina was.

So I’m back and hope to start offering interesting tidbits of my life again. I’m posting this pic from the Botanical Garden in DC, where I’ve been on a shooting trip recently. Here’s the link to the whole album:


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Rest in Peace, Cristina!

Posted by thearrow on February 27, 2012

I get on Facebook this morning and what do I read? “Today, I feel destroyed. My beloved Cris passed away yesterday. We still don’t know the reason. Cris, my beloved, mon amour, we will see us in the heaven.” This is what the boyfriend of my friend, Cristina, had posted. I just couldn’t believe my eyes. Could he possibly talk about my friend? It turns out he did.

We’re all shocked. She was in her mid-40’s and didn’t have any serious health issues, just some minor ailments, like many other people. It’s beyond sad not just because she was so young, but she only recently found this wonderful guy, with whom she had a very loving relationship, even though it was long-distance. She was more or less home-bound (in Bucharest) because she was taking care of her ailing mother, but he lived in Madrid. They probably didn’t see each other very often, but they would both post classical music clips for each other on Facebook, which I thought was very sweet.

Cristina had a great sense of humor and loved life, but was also a romantic and she was always posting warm wishes for all of her many friends on Facebook. Not a day went by without a couple of music clips or thoughts for a lovely day or weekend. To see her last post and then the outpouring of grief underneath it is just surreal. She also composed poems and set them against images with classical music background, which she then posted on YouTube. Here is her channel: And if you’re wondering about her name, yes, she was a descendant of the Russian composer.

We were colleagues in my last job in Romania before I left; everybody loved her. When I was there in September, we were supposed to get together but she didn’t feel well that day. In the whirlwind of stuff to do, I didn’t make an effort to try again and never talked to her again. And then this. Life really is too short. In her memory, I am posting her favorite musical piece, Mahler’s symphony no.5 (IV) – Adagietto. Sehr Langsam (1 of 2), as conducted by Herbert von Karajan. Rest in peace, Cristina!

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Change in My Wallet

Posted by thearrow on August 27, 2010

Sometimes Steve takes  small bills from my wallet to get munchies late at night, which I find funny. Lately, though, I found myself prodded by my conscience to give the change to poor people on the street. It’s like a drop in an ocean of needs, though, so I’m not mentioning this to get any kind of credit.

One time I got some bread and I felt that I needed to give those people something if I was getting food for myself. Then yesterday I was on my way to a store to see if I could find a skirt (I didn’t) and I gave $5 to a woman who was a very grim picture of destitution. She was very appreciative and told me in a small voice how the day before she bought a big sandwich, cut it in half, and thus had something to eat for both lunch and dinner.

It was heartbreaking.

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Pets and Relationships

Posted by thearrow on June 3, 2010

I just stumbled on this on the New York Times:

What Pets Can Teach Us About Marriage

“Do you greet each other with excitement, overlook each other’s flaws and easily forgive bad behavior? If it’s your pet, the answer is probably yes. But your spouse? Probably not.”

How true. No matter how upset we are, we always have a kind word for the dog or the cat. A really valuable lesson to take in our relationships.

And here’s the column of the researcher behind this: Can Pets Improve Your Relationship?

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Gather ’round for Some News

Posted by thearrow on October 5, 2009

Some of you might be thinking that I haven’t posted as frequently since I’ve started dating Steve for the simple reason that a relationship takes time. And that is true.

The whole truth, however, is that we are getting married and have been busy organizing the wedding. The big date is November 7. Yes, it’s happening a lot faster than most people expected but I think that’s a good thing. If we had more time, we might have been tempted to start looking at why this might not work and, believe me, you can always find reasons why anything cannot work. I used to be expert at doing that.

BUT, I’m not one of those people any more. I have decided to look at why and how things can work out. Our relationship is still budding, but I know it has the ingredients to succeed. And the shortness of time has helped us focus on what’s important, not on stuff that can get in the way.

Things have gotten ahead of us unexpectedly. We thought we would stick to the basics and have the ceremony and reception some time next year. Well, a few couples who are my surrogate parents here, have offered to help us with a space and catering, so now we’re having the whole thing laid out for us and had to start making lists, arrangements, calling friends, and try to stress out less and enjoy this more.

So, rest assured, I haven’t run out of things to say. I just have important stuff to attend to :).

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My Hopes

Posted by thearrow on August 3, 2009


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Meet Mr. Jinks

Posted by thearrow on April 16, 2009

A.k.a. my boyfriend’s cat. He’s a Maine Coon (the cat, that is). Very talkative and sociable. He jumped on my lap in about 5 minutes after seeing me for the first time. He loves to be brushed (and you wouldn’t believe how much hair he sheds). But, as lovely and affectionate as he is, you don’t want to mess with his big paws and claws. He’s not one of those kitties that will do whatever you want; he won’t hesitate to let you know when you rubbed or scratched him in the wrong place. Gently, but with a claw firmly out there at the ready 🙂

mr-jinks-1 jinks-on-his-back jinks-window

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