The Arrow

There are no answers; only choices.

Some Short-Term Planning for You

Posted by thearrow on May 11, 2011

Later edit: Here’s the van of the radio station with the apocalyptic message, in downtown DC. I took it before the NPR story but forgot about it. We have only 5 days left 🙂

Not sure you knew, my friends, but the end of time is coming on May 21st. Yes, 10 days from now. You’d better prepare for it by, well, not preparing for May 22nd! When, unless you’re raptured, you’ll be in a living hell on Earth anyway, for which no one can ever prepare adequately anyway. But you’ll only have to wait until some time in October, when the Earth will be destroyed.

How do you know it’s the end of the world? You’ll be rattled in your bed at 6:00 a.m. by a huge earthquake. But wait, isn’t your 6:00 a.m. someone else’s 2:00 p.m.? Yes, but everyone will get their own personal earthquake when the clock strikes 6:00 a.m. where they are. It’s kind of like watching the New Year’s Eve fireworks around the globe on TV. Every hour — bang! See? It’s already more exciting.

And what if you have kids? It doesn’t matter. A couple who already has a child and another one on the way have quit their jobs and have planned to deplete their savings by May 22nd. They’ll be flying economy to Heaven anyway.

And who figured this out so precisely? A very religious actuary. Talk about some serious Bible number crunching!

But isn’t the world supposed to end on December 12, 2012, according to the Mayan calendar?

Exactly.

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