The Arrow

There are no answers; only choices.

Archive for November, 2009

Good-Bye Biking, Hello Reading

Posted by thearrow on November 29, 2009

The change came slow, as I was able to bike throughout November. I could still do it, even though it’s chilly in the morning now (in the 40s, or 4-5 Celsius); evenings are very pleasant and that would more than compensate. Plus, there’s nothing like the crisp, fresh air in the morning. But I’m getting tired of putting all those layers on me, packing clothes for the office (even casual ones), taking the layers off, and changing. Twice a day.

So now, even if having to stick to the bus schedule will be stressful, I welcome the switch because I get 40 minutes of uninterrupted reading time each way. My magazines have been piling up with a vengeance since Steve and I started to date and now I’m becoming unable to find my way to the pile surface, that’s how much I’m behind. I won’t even mention books; haven’t read one in ages. And we’re still busy with post-wedding stuff and mostly run around like headless chicken on weekends.

It will be nice to cozy up with an Economist or New Yorker tomorrow morning.


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No Thanksgiving Invitation

Posted by thearrow on November 25, 2009

Steve and I were really hoping someone would invite us over for the Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow but, as he says, it looks like we’re shit out of luck. When we were single, there would always be one or two invitations from folks who took pity on us. Last year I turned all such invitations down because I was cranky and wanted to be by myself. But, since we’re not single any more, our friends probably think that we either have somewhere to go or want to spend it by ourselves, like the newlyweds we are. And all we’re thinking is how we haven’t heard from anyone yet. Now, we do want to spend time together (especially since we still don’t live under the same roof yet; hopefully soon) but the Thanksgiving dinner is all about being part of a large clan.

And we want that dearly because we both grew up in small families and would have loved to have an extended one.

Someone please take pity on us again and invite us over for dinner! We promise we won’t eat much; we just want to be with other people 🙂

Posted in American culture | Tagged: | 2 Comments »


Posted by thearrow on November 24, 2009

I hate this permanent interconnectedness through Facebook. If you wonder why I have an account, it’s because a dear friend nudged me for one year to do it. I always threaten I’ll close it but never do.

There are people out there with whom I don’t want to connect. I’ve got nothing against them, I just think our lives have diverged so radically that there’s not much we can talk about. Then, when we connect, they’ll want to know what I’ve been doing for the past X years and I just don’t feel like talking about all that ordeal again. My life has been on several different roller coasters ever since I left Romania eight years ago and, while I have found peace since Steve and I got together, I don’t want to talk about what happened with people who just pop up out the blue and cannot have any concept of what I’ve been going through. And I don’t have the emotional resources to be genuinely interested in their lives. A former middle school colleague popped up last summer; she had been living in DC for as long as I have, so thank God she contacted me only after she moved to the West Coast:). She’s a very nice person but I don’t have the energy to go through the past 20 years of my life.

And then, a former boyfriend of sorts (very short relationship) just showed up. Nooooo :). Leave me alone, people. I don’t want to offend anyone and I’m sure that’s how they’ll feel when they see my less-than-enthusiastic responses. Plus, a woman I’ve been also sort of friends with for some time but stopped calling her about two years ago because there wasn’t enough there there to continue the relationship, found out I got married (from mutual friends) and emailed me to confirm. Ugh. What’s worse, she’s in DC, which is a VERY small town anyway, and especially so when it comes to immigrant communities.

To complicate things, not all people I’ve stopped communicating with fall into this category. There are some very dear friends I’ve neglected. I want our friendships to continue, even though our lives are on different paths. I just couldn’t find the energy to connect with them. Which means I can’t issue a blank statement along the lines of, if I haven’t called you, maybe there was a reason for it (mwhahaaa).

So here I am, in a friendship conundrum.

Posted in boundaries | Tagged: | 8 Comments »

Exercise to Get Rid of Stress

Posted by thearrow on November 19, 2009

OK, people. Enough navel gazing; back to business. With the wedding frenzy now over, I finally got to my favorite gym class again this Monday. To my surprise, I wasn’t the bag of potatoes I expected after a three-month break.

And a couple of days ago I came across this NYT blog post on how profoundly exercise improves our ability to cope with stress.

Phys Ed: Why Exercise Makes You Less Anxious

I *can* make the fonts bigger, but you get the idea.

For those of you who think first of the hassle of exercising and give up before trying, start small, with something that is enjoyable and do it regularly. Set your own pace but keep it. It does take discipline to get into an exercise routine, but it’s possible. Find out what kind and length of exercise suits you and establish that you’ll do it no matter what. Ignore the fact that you’re not in the mood, you’re tired, you have other things to do, etc. There’s always a reason not to do things. Turn a blind eye to all those distractions and do your exercise routine. Before you know it, your body will demand it.

And you’ll see the wonders your own endorphines can work. It’s like a drug, but one that your body produces.

Go forth and exercise!

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The Dress

Posted by thearrow on November 17, 2009

And the necklace.

All right, folks, here it is! My beloved wedding dress.  It all turned out very nicely. We had a blast and our guests seemed to have a pretty good time, too. The little girl is my new niece; she was our flower girl. We’re BFFs. And, as I might have mentioned already, I’m also BFF with Steve’s mom. Then there’s His Majesty, Mr. Jinks. An unbeatable trifecta.

And yes, Steve liked it, too, and had a good chuckle when he saw me walking down the aisle through our friends living room to where he was. More about the ceremony, which was part-serious, part light-hearted and humorous, later on, when I find a little bit of time.

Note (12/10/09): I’ve removed the pic because I want to obscure my niece’s face for safety reasons. Will re-post it hopefully soon.

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Just Married

Posted by thearrow on November 5, 2009

Steve and I took the leap of faith today at the court house. The weather was on our side, or, rather, especially on mine since I was wearing one of the two gowns with just a thin shawl. I saw this dress right after I fell for the animal-print one and absolutely loved it, so I HAD to get it. It’s a faded gold on top and a really nice turqoise on the bottom. I call it the champagne dress.

In keeping with the theme that if friends hadn’t helped us, we wouldn’t have gotten married, one of the friends who came to witness the momentous occasion gave us the cash we had forgotten to get for the ceremony. Heck, I even forgot my ring at home, but thought we would exchange rings at the big ceremony we’re having on Saturday.

The same friend gave me a really beautiful bouquet of white roses. Naturally, I had not thought about getting one myself and Steve is too frazzled these days to have remembered or reminded me. The same friend took a lot of pictures, so he was really instrumental to our ceremony. Which made him happy because, unfortunately, he cannot be with us on Saturday.

The other friend who came today is going to be one of my maids of honor. She got married in the exact same room, by the exact same lawyer. She has an even funnier story because she couldn’t take a day off from work to get married (talk about work-life balance), so she and her husband went there during their lunch break and then went back to work. Apparently, there are two more couples in her group of friends who got married there, so now we clearly have to start a club.

And yes, I am going to post pics, but I have no idea when. We still have a lot of things to do. I just hope we won’t be too exhausted on Saturday to show up at our wedding ceremony.

Posted in wedding | 5 Comments »


Posted by thearrow on November 2, 2009

The Big Date is coming fast. We’re getting married on Wednesday at the justice of the peace and celebrate the folly on Saturday :). Of course, I HAD to have two really busy days at work and will need to come in on Wednesday morning, too. Arrgh. We haven’t even thought the ceremony through yet, BUT, we bought the booze yesterday, so I guess we have our priorities straight.

In other news, I found a really cool necklace and a pair of sexy sandals that go really well with the crazy dress. I wasn’t hoping to find them given how unusual the dress is, so I’m amazed at how well and timely things are falling into place. Hope I’m not jinxing it but if I do, I trust Mr. Jinks will figure it out.

Speaking of, he gave me the honor of climbing on me to be picked up and put on my shoulder. I was floored! Steve was sad: “Am I losing you, Jinks? This used to be our bonding ritual.”

And one night when I was completely conked out, Steve told me that Jinks sat on me and was talking to me, very puzzled that I wasn’t responding. I don’t remember anything, which is surprising given that Jinks weighs 14 pounds.

But anyway, back to my initial topic, things are well under way and we hope everything will unfold without a hitch. Other than that between the two of us.

Posted in pets, wedding | 6 Comments »