The Arrow

There are no answers; only choices.

2008: Good Riddance

Posted by thearrow on December 31, 2008

This year seems to have been quite tough for a lot of people. Not just because of the market meltdown, which, thankfully, hasn’t affected me too much. But it was a crappy year overall, with just a few sparkles of light. For me it started with an ill-timed trip with really bad consequences: I lost the friend who was the reason for the trip but with whom friendship and communication had become increasingly strained, so we had to end our friendship because it had turned toxic, and then I spent the whole year in debt, paying off that terrible trip.  It was awful. That was amplified by a ton of anxiety about my situation in general and the feeling that I wasn’t making much progress at least in my job either. That I could not raise my head above the relentless waves of work that kept coming my way and the nagging feeling that it was more my fault than anyone else’s. And then, to top it all, I lost my beloved dog, Flip.

Lessons learned? Listen to your gut and never again do something you’re not at peace with yourself doing, whatever the reason. Second lesson: the  universe does not revolve around you, even if everything seems to be conspiring against you. Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at will change. Of course, easier said than done. It doesn’t matter if you’ve heard the theory a thousand times and you agree with it; a light bulb has to suddenly fire up in your mind for you to see. Third lesson: enjoy the good times; don’t postpone that for a better later, which might never happen.

The lights that sparkled up the year were friends with whom I reconnected completely unexpectedly after many, many years; the few friends  who stood by my side and helped out; and new friends I gained through my blog, of all things, which is going to be one-year-old tomorrow. Which just goes to prove (if that is necessary) that blogs lead to like-minded people and that’s a blessing. And another light was finally buying the camera I’ve been wanting for so many years. Now I wonder why it took me so long.

Then, somehow miraculously, the storm in my mind has calmed down towards the end of the year. Like many other people, I’m thinking the next year can’t possibly be worse than the one we’re leaving behind. I am grateful every waking minute for being healthy and having my basic needs covered, but God knows we (I) need much more than that. I finally started feeling more appreciated at work; all this time I thought it was just words, but now I see it’s not and I actually believe the words, too.

My wishes for 2009? Several.

My greatest wish is to believe in myself again, to think that I will be ok because I’ve worked really hard and there has to be some reward for that.

Then, I’d like to be able to enjoy things like I once did, with my whole heart. The past several years have been a valley of sorrows and I just don’t want that any more. I want to be happy and confident that things can turn out well.

And, last but not least, where’s that million-dollar check? 🙂

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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4 Responses to “2008: Good Riddance”

  1. alt.L said

    this year i’ve learned yet again that’s never too late to discover and make friends! the trips to DC and then NYC were pretty awesome!

    for 2009: cele bune să se-adune, cele rele să se spele!

    i like your wishes for the new year. i’ll be here to remind you to stick with them 🙂

  2. thearrow said

    Indeed, the trips bracketed the summer very nicely. And yes, remind me that I have to win a million dollars somehow :).

    Thank you for the LOLcat; very cute.

  3. ~m said

    happy new year! 😀

  4. thearrow said

    Happy New Year to you and your family, too! Would love to read something about the Tiny Tyrant some time 🙂

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