The Arrow

There are no answers; only choices.

Mondays Are Better Now

Posted by thearrow on February 4, 2008

It used to be that Mondays were the worst in terms of energy level but, after another weekend spent hand wringing and paralyzed at the thought of never being able to get unstuck, today was a fresh breeze. I don’t even know how to describe the kind of mental paralysis that pins me down most of the time. It’s a deadly cocktail of “I’m not good enough,” “I can’t be on top of things,” “I’m not going to get it done in time,” “I won’t be able to present myself as a good candidate,” and other such crap. It’s like a dull whir of your brain while you’re trying to concentrate on what you need to do; maybe like what it could be to work in a factory, except all the noise is in your head. And it’s unbelievable how hard it is to ignore and how effective it is in draining you out.

But every once in a while I get a reprieve; I don’t know why or how. A handful of moments feel a lot more normal than others; the puzzle pieces decide to go where they belong and I can make some sense of what’s going on. I have a strong feeling weekdays are going to be a lot better and weekends are going to be more or less hell. At least during the week I don’t have time to pay attention to these demons.

And I have to say that Mondays are better because I get to go to my favorite gym class. There aren’t many things in the world I’d miss this class for :). The trainer is a 56-year old woman who has all sorts of wisecracking lines that, even if she repeats them almost every class, still crack me up. Such as “squeeze your butt so someone else will want to,” or “and now push ups; why? because I love you,” or “please admire your biceps in the mirror now,” or “black Speedo thong, this life time.” Not only she’s funny and keeps us working hard, but she can do 30 push ups AND talk to us at the same time. So after 45 minutes of abs and push ups my brain is finally empty and I can enjoy my endorphines :). I’m telling you: I have to figure out a way to stay in this country so that I can continue to take this class :).

I should also mention the Friday trainer who, when 8-months pregnant, still did some push ups and, generally, did quite a few of the exercises she used to do before, while keeping the class in control, being cheerful and making jokes, all that after teaching in a DC public school. Where do these people get so much energy from?

I’m glad I talked about my gym class and thus turned another dark post into a slightly lighter one.

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4 Responses to “Mondays Are Better Now”

  1. v said

    gee, you really should keep that 56-year old trainer close to you! funny, hard working, demanding AND likable? a keeper, i tell you!

  2. thearrow said

    Oh, I love her :). She is absolutely wonderful. I just can’t imagine not going to her classes.

  3. v said

    you make me go fetch that pilates dvd from the bottom of the drawer 😀

  4. thearrow said

    Haha! Wait until I start raving about push ups 🙂

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